They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?

I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back.

I don't care how rich and successful a man is. He's nothing without an education.

When it comes to sex, at my age I like threesomes. In case one of us dies.

I don't get no respect, no respect at all!

When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again."

I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.