She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.
I'm a bisexual; I get it maybe twice a year.
my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
Steak and sex, my favorite pair. I get them both very rare.
I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."