At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
My mom took me to a dog show and I won!!
I live in a tough neighborhood. They got a children's zoo. Last week, four kids escaped.
I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint-a Saint Bernard!
People say fish is good for a diet. But fish should never be cooked in butter. Fish should be cooked in its natural oils - Texaco, Mobil, Exxon .
I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.