My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.

My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.

I live in a tough neighborhood. They got a children's zoo. Last week, four kids escaped.

Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.

I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others. He gave my one with four cavities.

Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.

Steak and sex, my favorite pair. I get them both very rare.