My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.

I'm tellin' ya I get no respect. When I was in Switzerland, I got an obscene yodel.

Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!

Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'

...went to a bar for a few drinks. The bartender asked what I wanted. "Surprise me", I said. So he showed me a naked picture of my wife.

I tell ya, southern people, they always think you are hard-of-hearing. Every timr you leave they say to you, You come back, you hear? And southern people, they think you are horny too. You get directions, they say, Just up the road apiece.

Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.