My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.

Man, who don't like spaghetti?

When I was a kid I got no respect. I played hide-and-seek. They wouldn't even look for me.

Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!

She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.

Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.

I think my wife is cheating on me, the only thing the parrot knows how to say is, quick out the window.