My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.

With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.

I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.

I come from a stupid family. My uncle heard that most deaths occurs within ten miles of the house...so he moved.

School is a place were you go to eat your lunch

At certain times I like sex - like after a cigarette.

Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.