My son's an idiot. His teacher asked him to spell Mississippi. He asked which one? The river or the state?
Rodney DangerfieldMy wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer.
Rodney DangerfieldLast week I was walking by a cemetery, two guys came after me with shovels. It was all about money.
Rodney DangerfieldMy wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
Rodney Dangerfield