I'm a bisexual; I get it maybe twice a year.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps - from moving cars.

I tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.

I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!

Comedy is in my blood. Too bad it's not in my act.

She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.

My daughters been picked up so many times she's starting to grow handles