One night I asked a cabbie to take me where the action is, he took me to my house.
Rodney DangerfieldYou don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.
Rodney DangerfieldThey took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
Rodney DangerfieldWith my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.
Rodney Dangerfield