My wife gives good headache.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps - from moving cars.

Boy what a hotel that was, why they stole my towel.

I don't care how rich and successful a man is. He's nothing without an education.

I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, "So will you."

My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.

When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.