My wife gives good headache.

You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.

Hey, did somebody step on a duck?

My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.

One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!

Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.

We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again.