I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.

One night I asked a cabbie to take me where the action is, he took me to my house.

My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.

My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.

I tell ya, I was an ugly kid. I was so ugly that my dad kept the kid's picture that came with the wallet he bought.

I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.

All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.