In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!

He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.

When I was 3 years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me.

I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.

When you walk up five flights of stairs at four in the morning, there's definitely a hooker involved.

If I could have dinner with anyone who lived in history, it would depend on the restaurant.