In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

When I was a kid I got no respect. When I went on the roller coaster, my old man told me to stand up straight.

When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back

When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.

Look out for number one and try not to step in number two.

My daughters been picked up so many times she's starting to grow handles

I live in a tough neighborhood. They got a children's zoo. Last week, four kids escaped.