In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps - from moving cars.

The sign on the bar said: 'girls- topless, bottomless', I went inside and there was nobody there!

My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.

Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.

I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.