My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.

I drink too much, way too much; my doctor drew blood he ran a tab!

My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away!

My father gave me a bat for Christmas. The first time I tried to play with it, it flew away.

I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.

I once went out with this wild girl. She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster.

I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.