I told my doctor I wonna stop aging, he gave me a gun!
My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
My son's an idiot. He sprained his ankle playing golf. He fell off the ballwasher.
Comedy is in my blood. Too bad it's not in my act.
What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.