You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.

When I was born I brought no joy, my father said he wanted a boy!

We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.

I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, "So will you."

Do ya remember the first time you had sex? I do, and boy, was I scared! I was alone!

Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today so far, I had a good day. I got a dial tone.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."