You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.

She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.

They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?

I'm a downer. I've been depressed my whole life. Figure it out.

I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.

What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.

I once went out with this wild girl. She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster.