You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.

I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.

My golf game is getting real good. Last week, I got through the windmill.

I live in a tough neighborhood. They got a children's zoo. Last week, four kids escaped.

My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.

I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

You can name your own salary in this business. I call mine Fred.