People seldom live up to their baby pictures.
We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.
My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.
At certain times I like sex - like after a cigarette.
She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.