If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.
I'm tellin' ya I get no respect. When I was in Switzerland, I got an obscene yodel.
Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
Once I opened up a fortune cookie and inside was the guy's cheque next to me I said hey buddy I got your cheque he said thanks.