My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
I told my doctor I got water on my knee, he gave me a sponge and raised his fee!
I live in a bad neighborhood. Why, I saw two complete strangers share a taxi - yeah, one guy took the radio and the other guy took the tires.
My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!!
I was so ugly my parents had to hang a pork chop around my neck to get the dog to play with me.
The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.