When I was a kid I got no respect. I played hide-and-seek. They wouldn't even look for me.

My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There is a pair of shoes on the dashboard. They belong to the last guy she hit

It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.

I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back.

She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.

It's tough to stay married. My wife says no because she's tired then stays up and reads her book.

My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.