I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.
When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. ... and no one showed up.
My family was a bunch of drunks. When I was six I came up missing, they put my picture on a bottle of scotch.
I don't get no respect
She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
I told my doctor, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills" and he told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.