With my doctor, I don't get no respect. I told him I want a vasectomy. He said with a face like mine, I don't need one.
Rodney DangerfieldI once asked a policeman how far it was to the subway. he said, "I don't know, no one has ever made it".
Rodney DangerfieldOh, when I was a kid, I was poor. Christmas, I got no presents. Well, there was one Christmas, on our front lawn - Prancer and Dancer - they dropped off a little something.
Rodney DangerfieldI asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."
Rodney Dangerfield