I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.
I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!
When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.
What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
My golf game is getting real good. Last week, I got through the windmill.