I don't care how rich and successful a man is. He's nothing without an education.

I told my wife 'hey honey come on, let's make love like the old days.' She asked me for 50 bucks.

I tell ya, I don't get no respect ... Last week, my wife told me that she was going to cut me down to twice a month. But I thought about it, and I figured that it wasn't too bad. I know a couple of guys that she cut out completely.

When I was a kid we were so poor, if I hadn't been a boy I wouldn't have had anything to play with.

I can't get no respect.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

I said to a girl I'd been seeing, come home with me, honey, and I'll show you where it's at. She said, You'd better, because the last time I could'nt find it.