He who laughs last didn't get it in the first place.
What a doctor I've got - he's really mixed up. Last week, he grabbed my knee and told me to cough. Then hit me in the balls with a hammer.
My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.
It would be great if people never got angry at someone for doing something they've done themselves.
Comedy is a camouflage for depression.
His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.