His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.

My wife had her drivers’ test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.

People say fish is good for a diet. But fish should never be cooked in butter. Fish should be cooked in its natural oils - Texaco, Mobil, Exxon .

I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.

My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!

I'll tell ya, I don't get no respect... The other day, I got back from a business trip. I got in a cab and said to the driver, "Hey! Take me to where the action is!" So ya know where he took me? He took me to my house!

She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.