My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.

I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.

My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.

It's tough to stay married. My wife says no because she's tired then stays up and reads her book.

Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.

I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.

To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit, I was the only one who knew I quit.