A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!
Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to pay in advance.
Man, who don't like spaghetti?
My wife gives good headache.
I drink too much, way too much; my doctor drew blood he ran a tab!
...went to a bar for a few drinks. The bartender asked what I wanted. "Surprise me", I said. So he showed me a naked picture of my wife.