I used to date a girl from Buffalo. Why can't I meet a girl with normal parents?
For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
The shape I'm in, I could donate my body to science fiction.
Look out for number one and try not to step in number two.
My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.
Once when I was lost I asked a policeman to help me find my parents. I said to him, 'Do you think we'll ever find them?' He answered, 'I don't know, kid. There are so many places they can hide.