My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.

My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.

When I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler, just in case I have to prove something.

When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back

They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.

I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.

I don't get no respect