If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
I tell ya I got a stupid son. That's one load that shoulda been shot on the wall.
I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said "No, one drag is enough".
My dog learned how to beg by watching me through the bedroom door.
For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
When I was 3 years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me.