When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.
Comedy is a camouflage for depression.
Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.
A travel agent told I could spend 7 nights in HAWAII no days just nights.
I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.
When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.