She was so fat that her clothes are made by Omar the tent maker.
I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar!
The shape I'm in, I could donate my body to science fiction.
My parents didn't like me. For bathtub toys they gave me a blender and a transistor radio.
When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. ... and no one showed up.
One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!