I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said "No, one drag is enough".

All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.

My wife had her drivers’ test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.

I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.

When I was a kid I got no respect. I had no friends. I remember the see-saw. I had to keep runnin' from one end to the other.

I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me. Last week I went to the track and they shot my horse with the opening gun.

I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said "No, one drag is enough".