Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.
Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
Never guess your wife's size. Just buy anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt.
My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.