I tell ya I got a stupid son. That's one load that shoulda been shot on the wall.

At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps - from moving cars.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."

I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.

I don't know kid, there are so many places they could hide.

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.