I tell ya I got a stupid son. That's one load that shoulda been shot on the wall.

At certain times I like sex - like after a cigarette.

I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex.

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.

When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.