I tell ya I got a stupid son. That's one load that shoulda been shot on the wall.

I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps - from moving cars.

I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a t-shirt with a bulls eye on the back.

I don't get no respect, no respect at all!

My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.