One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
Rodney DangerfieldMy wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
Rodney DangerfieldIf you can't write your own material, you have very little chance of making it as a comedian.
Rodney DangerfieldWith my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it.
Rodney Dangerfield