There's only one thing wrong with my wife's face - it shows.
And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again.
I figured out I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.
With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.
My wife she's fat. Why, if she lost a few pounds, she'd be perfectly round.