Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer.
Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.
I don't get no respect, no respect at all!
I recently had double-bypass surgery. As they wheel you in, the doctor always gives you a last look. You know that look. That look of confidence to make you feel good. I always say to every doctor, If I don't make it, I'll never know it.