My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.
Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
Never tell your wife she's bad in bed. She'll go out and get a second opinion.
I said to a girl I'd been seeing, come home with me, honey, and I'll show you where it's at. She said, You'd better, because the last time I could'nt find it.