I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps - from moving cars.

I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.

Hey, did somebody step on a duck?

Boy what a hotel that was, why they stole my towel.

Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.

I'm a bisexual; I get it maybe twice a year.