I once asked a policeman how far it was to the subway. he said, "I don't know, no one has ever made it".
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
I've never been lucky. The day my ship came in, I was at the airport.
She was so fat that her bathtub has stretch marks.
When I was born I brought no joy, my father said he wanted a boy!
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.