If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.
I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint-a Saint Bernard!
my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens
His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.
I went to a massage parlor, it was self service.