She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.

My parents didn't like me. For bathtub toys they gave me a blender and a transistor radio.

My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!

They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?

You live with life's disappointments and learn from them. At seventy-eight, I know it all.

My mom took me to a dog show and I won!!

Do ya remember the first time you had sex? I do, and boy, was I scared! I was alone!