My mom took me to a dog show and I won!!

I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.

My golf game is getting real good. Last week, I got through the windmill.

She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.

I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.

At certain times I like sex - like after a cigarette.

I tell ya, I was an ugly kid. I was so ugly that my dad kept the kid's picture that came with the wallet he bought.