My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!

When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father ... I'm very sorry. We did everything we could ... but he pulled through.

I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.

Last week I was walking by a cemetery, two guys came after me with shovels. It was all about money.

My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.

People seldom live up to their baby pictures.

I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.