Do ya remember the first time you had sex? I do, and boy, was I scared! I was alone!

What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!

I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.

I have three kids, one of each.

Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'

When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again."

I live in a tough neighborhood. They got a children's zoo. Last week, four kids escaped.