Do ya remember the first time you had sex? I do, and boy, was I scared! I was alone!

My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.

I used to date a girl from Buffalo. Why can't I meet a girl with normal parents?

Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!

Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!

I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me.

I joined gamblers anon., they gave me 2 to 1 I wouldn't make it! I joined AA, there was a two drink minimum!