There's only one thing wrong with my wife's face - it shows.

I tell ya, it's tough to save a buck. Right now I'm supporting two fighters. My wife and her mother.

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!"

She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial.

My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies.

Life's a short trip. You'll find out.

I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.