My son's an idiot. His teacher asked him to spell Mississippi. He asked which one? The river or the state?
Rodney DangerfieldWhen I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father ... I'm very sorry. We did everything we could ... but he pulled through.
Rodney DangerfieldDad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!
Rodney DangerfieldIt's nice to be the best, but not when being the best brings out the worst in you.
Rodney Dangerfield