I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.

She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.

Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.

I'm at an age where I think more about food than I do about sex. Last week I put a mirror over my dining room table.

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. ... and no one showed up.

You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.

I recently had double-bypass surgery. As they wheel you in, the doctor always gives you a last look. You know that look. That look of confidence to make you feel good. I always say to every doctor, If I don't make it, I'll never know it.