I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.

My wife gives good headache.

My wife and I have Olympic sex. Once every four years.

When I was forty, I was getting divorced, living in a low-class, dirty hotel in New York. My mother was dying of cancer. I owed $20,000. That was about the lowest. I came back to show business, and I couldn't get a job. I was turned down by every small-time agent in New York.

I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me. Last week I went to the track and they shot my horse with the opening gun.

Once I opened up a fortune cookie and inside was the guy's cheque next to me I said hey buddy I got your cheque he said thanks.