I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.
Rodney DangerfieldI was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."
Rodney DangerfieldOh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.
Rodney DangerfieldI have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.
Rodney Dangerfield