You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.
My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!!
The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
She failed her drivers test. She couldn't get used to the front seat. It took her four lessons to learn to sit up.
My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
I tell ya, my wife, we get along good cause we have our own arrangement. I mean, one night a week I go out with the boys and one night a week, she goes out with the boys.