My wife and I keep fighting about sex and money. I think she charges me too much.

At certain times I like sex - like after a cigarette.

I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the west.

One night I asked a cabbie to take me where the action is, he took me to my house.

When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again."

We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.

What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!