Well with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said Are you Louise? She said, Are you Rodney? I said, Yeah. She said, I'm not Louise.
My mom took me to a dog show and I won!!
My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
I used to date a girl from Buffalo. Why can't I meet a girl with normal parents?
For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
With my dog I don't get no respect. He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.