When my wife drives, there's always trouble. The other day she took the car. She came home. She told me, There's water in the carburetor. I asked her, Where's the car? She said, In a lake.
Rodney DangerfieldI think my wife is cheating on me, the only thing the parrot knows how to say is, quick out the window.
Rodney DangerfieldWith my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.
Rodney DangerfieldAnd my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
Rodney Dangerfield