My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.
My son's an idiot. His teacher asked him to spell Mississippi. He asked which one? The river or the state?
I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.
My wife and I have Olympic sex. Once every four years.
Don't talk about yourself so much...we'll do that when you leave.
When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.