I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs I say, 'no.

Hey, did somebody step on a duck?

It's nice to be the best, but not when being the best brings out the worst in you.

I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me. Last week I went to the track and they shot my horse with the opening gun.

Do ya remember the first time you had sex? I do, and boy, was I scared! I was alone!

Last week my tie caught on fire, some guy tried to put it out with an axe.

Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!