When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.

You don't know who to believe. Like Abraham Lincoln. He said all men were created equal. He never went to a nude beach.

Life's a short trip. You'll find out.

What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn't help me at all.

I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said "No, one drag is enough".

I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin' and had to do the dishes.

She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.