My wife and I have Olympic sex. Once every four years.

I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.

I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.

I don't get no respect, no respect at all!

Do ya remember the first time you had sex? I do, and boy, was I scared! I was alone!

At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind.

A travel agent told I could spend 7 nights in HAWAII no days just nights.