I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
It's nice to be the best, but not when being the best brings out the worst in you.
If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer.
The shape I'm in, I could donate my body to science fiction.
His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings.
They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.