It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.
I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.
I tell ya, I was an ugly kid. I was so ugly that my dad kept the kid's picture that came with the wallet he bought.
I'm not a hypochondriac, but my gynaecologist firmly believes I am.
When you walk up five flights of stairs at four in the morning, there's definitely a hooker involved.
You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.