I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor; they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'
Rodney DangerfieldI tell ya, I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at women's prisons, and wait for parolees.
Rodney DangerfieldThey took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.
Rodney DangerfieldWhen I was 3 years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me.
Rodney Dangerfield