It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.

I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.

I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint-a Saint Bernard!

I tell ya, sex is getting harder all the time. Me and my wife were trying to have sex for hours last night and I finally gave up. I asked her, "what, you can't think of anybody either?"

Do ya remember the first time you had sex? I do, and boy, was I scared! I was alone!

My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.