My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There is a pair of shoes on the dashboard. They belong to the last guy she hit

Man, who don't like spaghetti?

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.

I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint-a Saint Bernard!

My wife's so dumb, she got a nail in the spare!!

I tell ya, sex is getting harder all the time. Me and my wife were trying to have sex for hours last night and I finally gave up. I asked her, "what, you can't think of anybody either?"

A man in the crowd asks: Hey Rodney, how'd you get started? Rodney: I was 12 years old, alone in my room, and I got started!