My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There is a pair of shoes on the dashboard. They belong to the last guy she hit

I'm not a hypochondriac, but my gynaecologist firmly believes I am.

Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig?" Guy says, "This is a duck." Bartender says, "I was talking to the duck."

My wife gives good headache.

Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

One night I asked a cabbie to take me where the action is, he took me to my house.

You know you're old when your family talk about you in front of you. What are we going to do with Pop? We have company tonight.