My wife has cut our lovemaking down to once a month, but I know two guys she's cut out entirely.

I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push.

One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!

I once went out with this wild girl. She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster.

My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!

Well with girls I don't get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said Are you Louise? She said, Are you Rodney? I said, Yeah. She said, I'm not Louise.